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Friday, June 03, 2005

Does Fear Have A Reason

It was such a lovely day. My girls were around the age of 7 and 5 at that time. It was summer vacation, so they were out of school and getting bored. My eldest loved swimming (and still does) and wanted to go to the swimming pool. Oh, oh...there it was. Fear! All kinds of catastrophic scenarios rushed through my mind. To go to the pool meant to go by bike, the car was unavailable at that time. My knees, hands and wrists were very inflamed and painful.
Fear no 1: I won't make it, the ride may be too far. It wasn't that far at all, but being in pain it seemed like from here to the moon ( exaggerating here, can you tell? haha.) And walking? A snail would have beat me to it! So if I didn't make it, how would we get back?
Fear no 2: If we made it, I would have to sit or lay down on the grass. I would never make it back up without any help. The girls were too small to hoist me up. So I would have to ask someone else. The embarrassment! What would they think?
Fear no 3: We would still have to make it back from the moon afterwards. Same fear as no 1.
Fear no 4: It would all aggravate my joints and I would pay dearly.
So, I told my girls I was in too much pain to go. I didn't even make an effort. Fear deprived the girls from a nice day and me from some cherished moments and memories.

Fear tends to take away so much in our lives, in every aspect, not just when you have an illness, although I think it adds to it, big time. With my illness, the consequence of everthing I want to do is pain. No one wants that. So the fear of pain, often/most of the times/always (you can answer that for yourselves:-), prevents us from enjoying God's blessings. Buzzzzz......wrong answer!!! WE prevent us. By giving in to the fear. By running from fear instead of to it. I will show you and you can form your own opinion on it.

Running from fear...That is what I did by only thinking about what could go wrong, could happen or could be a consequence. So allowing the fear to make the decision, I didn't go.
Running to fear...I would have considered all these things and have had Faith that God provides. On account of my fears: We would have made it, even if it meant we had to take a little break half way. Somebody would have helped me, and it doesn't matter what they think or how it appears, I could have explained. And I may not have had any more pain afterwards at all and if so, I could have taken some more Ibuprofen. If I myself had made the decision, in spite of fear, I would have gone. See how it works?

Fear is there for a reason. It makes you alert to areas that need attention. It's good to consider why it is present and face it. I am facing my fears. Not always successfully yet. It still roars it's ugly head every now and then, but I am mastering it, with God's help. Love, Hope and Faith bring life. Things done other then out of these three, bring forth nothing good. I found there is only one good fear. The fear of God:-)

Have you noticed how allowing fear robs you, and your loved ones around you, of joy and hope? How it stalls life?

Proverbs 19:23
The fear of the LORD leads to life, And he who has it will abide in satisfaction; He will not be visited with evil.

11 Comments:

Anonymous bonnie said...

Corry, you are right on target about the pull of fear on our lives. It's like the old cartoon where the shadow on the wall looming around the corner is huge and scary, but the source is a tiny mouse. Fear is powerful if we think about it too much. I like what you wrote: "Running TO fear" because it encourages everyone to take a step, then another...instead of shrinking back.

I saw your comment on my Macromoments blog and followed you here. My maternal grandmother had RA and back then, they sent her to bed. Big mistake! She spent decades bedridden. Thank you for offering hope and the impetus to keep on keeping on. God bless you. /Bonnie

October 14, 2005 3:57 PM  
Blogger Corry said...

Bonnie:

Thanks for visiting, commenting and encouraging:-). It is encouraging to hear that people who read my posts are getting something out of it or can relate. I am grateful.

I am sorry to hear about your grandmother. I can only imagine how awful it must have been for her and her family as well. I pray one day a cure will be found for this illness and no one will have to suffer anymore. But I also know...God will give us what we need:-)

God's Grace.

October 14, 2005 3:58 PM  
Anonymous pecheur said...

Awesome post. I am always fearful of something. The biggest being failure.

PS I found my only copy of Het Evangelie naar Johannes. Maybe I could drop some of him to you in your native tongue. I bet you get tired of English all the time!

October 14, 2005 4:11 PM  
Blogger Corry said...

Pech:

Thank you:-) I think my hubby did a great post on fear and what we don't want, as well! Maybe that might be of some help too.

Thanks for the offer, I appreciate it, but I am afraid (yeah!!!) it will be confusing. I find myself translating (english to dutch) less and less in my mind, in order to understand and I am having trouble remembering dutch words when I talk to my family haha.

Thanks for posting:-)

God's Grace.

October 14, 2005 4:11 PM  
Anonymous pecheur said...

C,
No problem!!

October 14, 2005 4:12 PM  
Anonymous jay said...

As long as you acknowledge fear, it doesn't have the same power over you. Good for you.

October 16, 2005 2:01 PM  
Blogger Corry said...

Jay:

Thank you. I totally agree:-)

God's Grace.

October 16, 2005 2:02 PM  
Anonymous kd said...

hi corry
i know you are right about the fear taking over but im not too sure how to make it so im not scared of the pain or the embarrassment. i walk extremely slowwly and with a limp i constanly get stared at and feel like im a monkey in a cage thats why i always use my crutches (and so people will be more careful) :) i used to go to one of the biggest schools in new zealand and i hated it because people would push me in the corridors and say make way for the cripple, it really got to me, i now go to a special school for people with illness and disability, i love it there because everybody has some kind of illness and everybody is treated normally.
thank you for this website and for your kind and compassionate words
they really inspire me
i wish there were more people in the world like you, that understand like you. i guess you have to experience it to understand though.
kind regards
kylie (K.D)

October 16, 2005 4:33 PM  
Blogger Corry said...

Kylie:

If you like, you can e-mail me at caseyc@zebra.net. I have alot more to say on this and I will reply fully soon.

God's Grace.

Kylie:

Thank you so much for the encouraging words about my site. As for me...my gratitude is to God, for He gave me the opportunity to share my experiences. I never thought my RA would benefit anyone. But God can turn a "mess" into gold:-)

Fear is a strange thing, but it can be mastered. We do that daily, in things that we have come to accept as normal.
Remember the first time you went to your new school? I can imagine you were scared, for you didn't know what to expect. But you went (ran to the fear) and now you love it. You don't think about it being scary anymore. Most things you do for the first time are scary. But you do them anyway. First time you make a cup of coffee, a meal, write an essay etc. etc. The more you do it, the more fear disappears. Practice makes perfect:-)

It helps to acknowledge fear is present. Talk about it, if it is just to yourself. Facing it is half the work. Disect it. What am I afraid of and why? Often you will find it is invalid or you made it bigger then it really is. Try to come up with solutions.

For myself, I found fear of pain is a matter of mind over body. I was in pain, so whether I would do something or not, the pain would still be there. I forced myself to do it anyway. And I am talking about every day things, doing the dishes, laundry, walking to the store. Eventually, it increased my pain-tolerance-level. I felt no pain anymore, but I think if any normal healthy person would have been in my shoes, they prolly would have cringed.

Kids can be extremely cruel and I am sorry you had to experience that. As for what people think? Those who care will come to you and ask. Those who don't...I think you are better off without them. What matters is what you and God think about you!

God's Grace.

October 16, 2005 4:34 PM  
Anonymous nan said...

Corry, I know a little of what you are talking about. I'm one of those people who has to do a "dry run" of every trip so I won't be embarassed if I lose my way or don't know which door to take or which exit to use. I can get myself so balled up in my fear that I am absolutely miserable. As I've gotten older I've gotten a lot better with taking chances and trusting that things will work out. But, it's always a struggle to get started, isn't it?

October 17, 2005 6:45 AM  
Blogger Corry said...

nan:

The first step is the most scariest one of all. That does take faith, love and hope:-)Once that step is taken, it is encouraging, even if I mess up, I faced my fear and I know I can overcome it! That makes it a little easier next time, and easier after that etc. One big mistake I used to make was, when I messed up, to get discouraged. Till I was shown to see it from a different perspective: a learning stage. I face the fear, learn from my mistakes and get stronger and more confident. With God's help, for God provides:-)

God's Grace.

October 17, 2005 6:46 AM  

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