Why Is It So Important?
One day I had to get some groceries. My knees were hurting but I was not going to let it prevent me. So I put my daughter in the stroller (at that time she fitted, being almost 21 now: not a good idea to even try haha) and headed out. The store was not that far and because of the pain I walked slow, using the stroller as support and stability. We saw so much on the way there and back, we wouldn't have seen if we had just rushed by. Bugs, flowers growing in the grass, even some snails that crossed the sidewalk. And we stopped and I let her check it all out, enjoying the look of enthousiasme on her face. We were walking back when a neighbour passed us on her bike. She greeted us and added the next comment: "You must have all the time in the world! I wish I had". I wanted to say: "no, you wouldn't wish that if you had my pain", but it stuck to the thought, for she was already way ahead of us, hurrying home. The assumption she made was that I didn't have anything better/else to do. And I know that's what it looked like, but had she asked or given me the opportunity to respond, she wouldn't have hurt me with that comment. For it did hurt. I even felt a tad of guilt, but I resolved that quickly. And everything has a reason. I am grateful I couldn't go any faster for we saw some of God's creations and my daughter had the time of her life exploring:-)
Sometimes, what seems like a justification to one, turns out to be a very good reason for another. When people just assume without asking, a false belief is formed and they act upon it. That can cause great injustice and hurt for the "victim". I am almost 100% positive we have all done it! Something said or done by someone is automatically assumed to be as how I perceive it. I don't ask. Why should I? I already know! Besides, I don't want to come across as being stupid by asking what it is they actually mean or are doing (Don't shake your head now at my foolish pride, I already am aware of it, haha). But am I not the greatest fool, when I find out that what I assumed is no where near the truth and that I hurt someone? It is better to ask then to assume. There is only one foolish question and that is the one that is not asked! ( quotation from hubby. Yes, I asked if I could use it, hahaha).
Nowadays, I do not care so much anymore what people think. As long as I make sure I tell them the truth, then I am no longer responsible for their thoughts, feelings or actions. They are. It matters to me what God thinks of/about me! So why do we still place so much value on their opinions of us? Why is it so important what they think? I don't see a good reason, but maybe you do. I would like to hear them:-)
Deuteronomy 13:18
because you have listened to the voice of the LORD your God, to keep all His commandments which I command you today, to do what is right in the eyes of the LORD your God.
Sometimes, what seems like a justification to one, turns out to be a very good reason for another. When people just assume without asking, a false belief is formed and they act upon it. That can cause great injustice and hurt for the "victim". I am almost 100% positive we have all done it! Something said or done by someone is automatically assumed to be as how I perceive it. I don't ask. Why should I? I already know! Besides, I don't want to come across as being stupid by asking what it is they actually mean or are doing (Don't shake your head now at my foolish pride, I already am aware of it, haha). But am I not the greatest fool, when I find out that what I assumed is no where near the truth and that I hurt someone? It is better to ask then to assume. There is only one foolish question and that is the one that is not asked! ( quotation from hubby. Yes, I asked if I could use it, hahaha).
Nowadays, I do not care so much anymore what people think. As long as I make sure I tell them the truth, then I am no longer responsible for their thoughts, feelings or actions. They are. It matters to me what God thinks of/about me! So why do we still place so much value on their opinions of us? Why is it so important what they think? I don't see a good reason, but maybe you do. I would like to hear them:-)
Deuteronomy 13:18
because you have listened to the voice of the LORD your God, to keep all His commandments which I command you today, to do what is right in the eyes of the LORD your God.
16 Comments:
I ama startin' to see a little bit of that thar suthern talk coming out. =)My favorite in this post is the line that said, "was the assumption I didn't have anything better else to do."
Pech:
Thank ya, Suh. Am havin sum good teachus:-) But Ah reckun ya gat better sumptin else te do...WRITING YOUR THESIS!!!
Ar prayers are with ya:-)
God's Grace.
Since I've had to start exercising because of my diabetes, which is something I should have been doing all along, I walk a lot around my neighborhood. I see so much more about my neighbors now than I knew before.
Thank you for your insight -- and reminding us that sometimes we really should slow down, before God makes us ;)
Regarding your last question (why do people care what other people think). . . it may be related to a person's temperment, spedifically where they fall on teh introvert/extrovert scale of the Myers-Briggs/Kiersey/Bates temperment sorter. Extroverts (people who get their energy by interacting with others) are extrenally focused - they are more conscious of what's going on around them; introverts (people who renew their energy by spending time alone) are usually more internally focused - they follow the beat of a different drum and more often than not are not so worried about what other people think about them.
Helpful?
Blessings & Peace,
Hugo
Hugo:
Thanks you for the comment and for the psychological insight.
Do you think it could be a matter of where we place the power/control?
My opinion on the matter is: whether we are in- or extrovert, living according to God's word, we can and should give others what they need, to form an opinion/belief based on our part of the truth. When we do, it is no longer our responsibility but theirs. What they think then has no longer power over us. We have given that power to whom it belongs. God and ourselves:-)
God's Grace.
Corry: Good wat to look @ it also - I hadn't thought about it in terms of power and control, but it makes sense. Thanks for the comment!
Blessings & Peace,
Hugo
Hugo:
Thank you too for the insight. I had not looked at it that way either. I appreciate your comments. They provoke to think "outside the box" and to look at it from a different angle. that can only be good. There is wisdom in the counsel of many:-)
My opinion is thrown out there for consideration. It might well be that the truth is somewhere in the middle. I don't know...God does:-)
God's Grace.
Since I've had to start exercising because of my diabetes, which is something I should have been doing all along, I walk a lot around my neighborhood. I see so much more about my neighbors now than I knew before.
Thank you for your insight -- and reminding us that sometimes we really should slow down, before God makes us ;)
Jo:
Thank you for visiting and your comment.
I know diabetes requires a constant close watch. I hope you are doing well.
I think when God is slowing us down, He is telling us we need to:-)
Our prayers for you as well:-)
God's Grace.
Hi Corry...I have had the same thing happen to me before. I am sure I have done it too. No one knows your pain except for you. People should stop and think before acting upon their thoughts, but they don't. The tongue is a wicked thing!!!
Karen:
Thank you for your comment and yes it is a wicked tongue, but honestly, I rather prefer people to say it. That way I can reply and give them what they need to get rid of their false belief.
God's Grace.
Corry, I was very touched by your post. You sound like the voice in my head. I went through so much of my life either saying things without thinking that really hurt someone else or worrying about what other thought of me all the time.
That's the best part about finally growing up (57). I really don't care anymore what people think. It's such a freeing experience.
I am in awe of your courage in dealing with a life of pain. Your daughter must have learned some really great lessons from you along the way.
Nan:
Thank you so much for your kind words. I am so grateful my post encourages people to consider and even more grateful if it is of any help. All the comments are such an encouragement to me as well:-)
And yes you are right, it is part of growing up. God has been mercyful to help me to do that at a later age. Better late then never:-) As far as my oldest daughter goes, she is a fine young woman. I failed to raise her (and her sister) in God and with His Word. Even though I believed in God, I was not saved and ingnored the opportunities He presented to know the Truth and to teach His Word to my children. I regret that very much, but I have Love, Hope and Faith that with persistance, perseverence and patience God will open the door to be a testimony to them and they will find happiness in and with Him:-)
God's Grace
Hi Corry. I wanted to thank you for visiting my site recently and for the thoughtful comments. I sure relate to what you've shared here. So many times people misjudge appearances. I've done it, and others have done it to me. I still struggle with what people may think of me, although I'm learning to "let go" more and more. Since I've recently been diagnosed with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue, I've tasted a little of the misunderstanding that comes with an invisible illness. It's important to gather the support we need, but to keep relying on God for our inner strength.
Hang in there! Our heavenly Father knows the pain we face daily, and like you said, it only really matters what He thinks about us.
I'll visit again soon and keep you in my prayers. Glad you left your link so I could stop by.
hugs,
Vicki
Vicki:
Thank you so much for visiting and your comment. I am sorry to hear about your illnesses and we will keep you in our prayers. I know how difficult it is to experience the misunderstandings people have and I am grateful to hear you are coping with that. Keep it up, girl! I think you are doing great:-)
I totally agree, the inner strenght comes from God. And it is good to know He is always there! Try not to worry, I will hang in there untill God says it's been enough:-)
God's Grace.
Corry, just wanted to let you know that it's fine with me if you'd like to add my link--I'd be honored. Thank you and God bless you, my friend. Nice blog you have here. I'm behind on my blogging but will try to catch up soon.:-)
hugs & prayers,
Vicki
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