Our Daily Bread
Even a broken tree has it's function.I guess we can all relate to this, because we all experience it at one time or another. You have a splitting headache, upset stomach, the flu or diarrhea ( a race-case as I call it, haha). I don't think there has ever been one person on this earth who escaped either one of them. When that occurs, I love to be cared for and comforted, get some sympathy and I don't mind if someone takes over my responsibilities for the time being. As a matter of fact, I am so grateful when they do. But... and here is the big question: Why does it make me angry when it concerns my RA? My attitude is totally contrary to what is mentioned above.
Anger is actually hurt. I get hurt when I am being told to sit down and let someone else do it, because I have RA and it wouldn't benefit me doing it. I like to scream out: I CAN DO IT! Ok, I have to take my time and go slow and not overdo, but I CAN do it. I know it is meant well and born out of love and care, but why does it hurt? I do however appreciate the warning "not to overdo". What/where is the difference?
Pondering on it, I came to this conclusion:
The first one is negative: I am acknowledged as a disfunctional person who can't do anything. The second one is positive: I am acknowledge as a functional person who just has to be careful.
Those ailments like headache etc, are short-lived. They pass in a day (or so) and you resume your daily life. The imposing on others is temporary. RA is a permanent condition. To impose on others constantly is to me like "crying wolf " and using them. It doesn't feel right in my heart and goes against God's Will.
He gives me what I need to be able to do the things I have to and need to. I am a person in His eyes, just like you. So please, don't be offended when someone declines your help saying they can do it themselves. Be encouraged and grateful. I am. God gives all of us our daily bread:-) That knowledge in itself is encouraging!
I would love to hear your opinion and/or experiences on this.
2 Corinthians 4:16
Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day.
16 Comments:
Hi Corry,
I'm like you, when I hear take it easy, that doesn't mean I can't do it, it just means to slow down or be careful.
But when someone tells me to sit down or stop what I am doing they will do it, then I feel like they think I am useless, and I'M NOT.
And as I get older, it seems to upset me more, because it's like I'm giving up a little more of my independence. And I don't intend to give that up until I can NO LONGER MOVE PERIOD.
So hang in there and stay independent as long as you can. You'll know when you need help. You know your own body even better then the doctor.
Your blogging friend
Corry, first off, I love your new pic! Very nice.
Second, I have to agree with your conclusions and I think you hit the nail on the head. The second choice validates the person and helps them to remain a productive member of any team.
Thanks for the post. It made me ponder how I do with my mom. Sometimes I just jump in and do 'it' because 1)I'm faster 2)I don't want to see her struggle. At those times I don't think I'm really being fair to her. Thanks for helping me see this.
Pat:
Yup, that's exactly right. I get a little older too and notice I am not so flexible anymore as before. That prolly plays a part as well.
Take it easy Pat. I am happy you like your new job:-)
Claire:
Thanks for the compliment on the pic:-)and thanks for the comment.
I am grateful if I could help somehow.
I completely understand your reasons for wanting to help your mom but as you already mentioned yourself: "the second choice validates the person and helps them to remain a productive member of any team".
And I think being productive is twice as important to someone with a handicap then to someone without.
I also experienced that God compensates for the things I can not do. One door closes, but God opens others. Without my RA I would never have been able to write this blog, I would prolly never have developed my drawing skills and I would never have met all you wonderful people!
Thank y'all for the encouragement and your friendship. May God bless you:-)
God's Grace.
Thank you for opening up so much in your blog. As a physical therapy student I am trying to research and learn more about all types of arthritis and something I think we often forget is how the PERSON feels. I am learning so much by reading your entries. I am now training for a half marathon to raise money for the Arthritis Foundation. I'd love for you to look at my training blog if you are interested. :-)
Jill:
Thank you so much for your visit and your wonderful comment. It is very encouraging:-)
Drop in anytime.
I am grateful to you and everyone involved, for doing such a great thing. May God bless you:-)
God's Grace.
Hello...I have missed you. I appologize for being so rude and not reading your blogs for weeks. I have been busy...trying to work and not sleeping very well. I am so, so sorry. I am having trouble with my knees. I have arthritis in one real bad. Keeps me up!!! I promise to be better at it. Okay? Forgive me???
Karen:
Sorry doesn't cut it girl, there is no excuse for not reading my blog. Now hold out your hand so I can slap it(grin).
On a more serious note: Welcome back:-) I am so sorry to hear the reason for your absence. I know you already got enough to bear.
We pray for you!
God's Grace.
I just experienced the loss of a handicapped girl who made an incredible impression in my life. I had the impulse to "help" her once -- to "mother" her -- but she was remarkable without me. An arrow pointing to heaven. A miracle. She is not the only one, but the one most heavy on my heart today.
God tells us that in our weakness we glorify Him. Maybe when people try to "fix" you, they are overlooking the miraculous in your life. They are missing what God is doing.
Just thinking out loud here. Thanks for your post. As always, a blessing.
Oh how well I understand your frustration- I swear I have undergone an identity switch- going from fully functional to zilch over nite and then spending 8 months getting it back together (kinda) I have had a hard time adjusting to this new RA life- your words were very poignant and profound for me
Kim:
I read your post and I was sorry to hear but grateful you got to know her. God gives many blessings and often through people we meet and/or get to know. She was one of them.
And you are right. There is no need to "fix" us. Our weakness is also our greatest strength:-)
Anonymous:
Thank you for your visit and your comment.
You will get it together. Maybe not as you were used to or would want, but you will:-) One door closes, but God opens new ones.
Your life is turned upside down and it takes a while to adjust but try to keep in mind: Everything works together for good for those who love the Lord.
Thanks for the encouraging words on my post. I pray it is of some help to you. That was the entire purpose of starting this blog:-)
God's Grace.
Yeah- that pretty much describes me, too, though I am much more comfortable letting Paul do things for me on a regular basis than anyone else. Also, I get angry with my mom for holding my hand when I use stairs. She usually holds it at a very wrong angle, which hurts my wrist, and I just feel like snapping at her to LET GO! I use stairs when you're not around just FINE!! Thanks for pointing out that it's not just peevishness but hurt feelings that provoke me.
Lenise:
Thanks for sharing, girl.
I had to think real hard about what aggrivated me so much. I considered pride at first. But hurt is at the root of it. Even if I don't function as a "normal" person, doesn't mean I can't function at all.
If I am being percieved as not "normal", then let me be weird instead haha. God and my family love me for who I am. That is most important of all.
God's Grace.
Hi Corry,
I wanted to email you but realized I don't have your email address. So, this message is regarding your comments on my blog.
...Oh Corry, you are a dear sweet woman! I only hope that one day I can be as strong as you and more diligent in my work for the Lord. Thank you so much for all your prayers, I am truly grateful...
Take care and may God bless you in abundance!
Maryrose
MaryRose:
God has blessed me immensly,although I do not always show appropriate gratitude for that:-)
Regarding the comments on your blog, you are more then welcome!
I send you my e-mail address. I pray you are doing ok:-)
God's Grace.
with my medical condition, a lot of times i get angry at remarks being thrown at me but i've realized that more than getting angry, i feel hurt. and most of the time, i show anger to cover up the hurt.
please pray that my whole system will be prepared by God for my next pregnancy, that there will be no more losses.
thank you and God bless you.
Pia:
God bless you, Pia.
My heart goes out to you. I honestly don't know what to say except that you are in our prayers and we will continue to pray for you. May it be God's will, grace and mercy for you and your husband, to have a wonderful pregnancy next time without complications and may He bless your love with a healthy baby.
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